Ellen S. Wright, Copyright © 2.14.2023
On days like today, I contemplate how distorted Love has become to many people. Often, what people call love is not love to me. It is attachment or dependence, which his actually the opposite of authentic love. Love is not about romance or being “wined and dined,” it is a state of BEING and a point of creation. It is the essence of who we are. I fully understand this is particular blog post may challenge some people, but I would invite you to consider another viewpoint.
Why is this subject important to me? I consider myself a Champion & Creator of Love (not a warrior) and I have been consciously studying, “What Love Is…” since I was 7 years old. Why, because I came here with a very clear knowing and then I began to question the world around me. What others told me about Love versus what I knew it to be, was definitely opposite. (This is another story for a very different day.)
Today, I wanted to give a short perspective on what I have discovered that Love is.
And first, I want to start with..
What Love is not...
Love does not hoard.
Love does not constrict or restrict.
Love does not control.
Love does not expect.
Love does not oblige or create obligations.
Love does not manipulate.
Love does not give to get.
Love is not hard.
Love is not exclusive or excluding.
Love is not linear.
Love is not forced.
Love is not pressure.
Love does not constrict or constrain.
What is Love?
Our true nature, the energy is… Love. Love is not what just what we do but begins with who we are. We are Love, FIRST.
Now, I have come to understand that love has three aspects. Since I live visual imagery and nature analogies with trees, I invite you to think of these three aspects of Love as a… Tree.
Trees that have three core aspects- Roots, Trunk and Branches. Each part of the tree is important and contributes to the whole understanding of the tree. Each aspect of Love describes a particular concept, not just a word. Freedom. Abundance and Infinity are big concepts. They are each the same yet describe something even more beautiful and complicated.
Love is that which is perfectly free. True freedom is complicated for most people because they are afraid of being out of control, being vulnerable or getting hurt. So many people guard against freedom by trying to control. People are deeply afraid of being out of control and of the unknown. (Another story for another day)
Unfortunately, and fortunately, nature does not support control. Nature supports creation.
Love is that which is Unlimited/Abundant.
One of the other natures of Love is INCLUSIVE. Abundance says “AND” and accepts multiple realities, truths and preferences. We ARE Love and we are seeking to know who and what we are.
WE are Life expressing Life. Love expressing Love. We are creators and beings of Love.
Love is that which is Eternal.
Again, a concept such as eternal or infinite is hard for most to conceptualize because we have been acculturated to accept and believe we are limited. We have been told we are finite. We are not, Love is ENERGY. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It transforms, it shifts but it is everything and nothing. It is All. Love is WHOLENESS. What is most important to take from this aspect of Love is- ALLOWS for multiple preferences, choices and expressions of itself. That is what whole is, it includes all aspects of an experience or object. Love is unlimited.
Now onto what Love Is…
Love allows.
Love offers out of choice.
Love is abundant.
Love is fullness and emptiness.
Love is creative.
Love is FREE and FREEDOM.
Love is choice.
Love is expansive and inclusive.
Love is preferences and desires.
Love is pleasure and pain.
Love is loss and gain.
Love both creates and destroys.
Love is Whole
Love is cyclical.
Love is easy.
Love flows.
Love is flexible and inflexible.
This perspective has been both healing and freeing for me. Ultimately, it aided me on navigating how to free myself from EGO and core wounds sustained through relationship with other’s unhealed EGOS. Love gave me an elevated viewpoint that allowed me to discern behaviors and choice from the perspective of what is natural and not learned (or misunderstood from learning.)
Learning the nature of Love and living from a place of Love, can be both challenging and exhilarating. During the process, often people begin to question whether we have been living from our natural or authentic selves or if we have been more concerned about receiving (or not losing) love from others. If you always believe that love is “out there” then “love” becomes about getting it from someone or something else or guarding against losing Love. This can look like seeking approval or seeing self only through the eyes of the other.
Then Love becomes the “little” l, which is not love but actually fear of LOSS of love. The little “l” may look like dependence, unbalanced attachment and avoidance. Yet, these “little l’s” are the opportunities for the healing of Fear. A space for Love to bring clarity and choice to those behaviors, to make whole again.
An example of this is when a tree gains an injury, more resources and supports go to the injury or misalignment of tissue. The tree expands growth in that location where the wound or interruption of wholeness occurred. As humans, when we are out of alignment with our true nature of Love, we have the opportunity to return to our true nature. Sometimes that looks likes our need and desire for validation, for comparison, for seeking love externally, these are our wounds and scars, but really, they are experiences of expanded growth. If any of this is or was your truth, I invite you to apply the Love salve of “grace and acceptance” for your previous, current and future Self. AND. Greet this information as an Invitation to become curious of what comes up for you.
You may have known this deep down, but the loud cacophony of the world sometimes drowns out the voice of Love. Fear is loud. We are learning AND ever creating so we have choice to be conscious or unconscious of our creations.
To integrate,
We ARE love. We start with Love. Love is always with us.
When we are Love- we can learn that we start from a place of freedom (to be to allow others to be who they are and who you are), abundance (wise that your preferences and desires are valid and exist. AND that in our diversity, we are abundant) and Eternal (ever unfolding and expanding). Something to think about maybe?
I’d love to know how this post resonates or does not resonate with you. I invite you to notice what this information brings up for you. And if you have questions, I am here.
Much love infinitely,
Ellen 2.14.2023
Ellen S. Wright, LMFT 